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Christine's avatar

I believe I am suffering post hospital PTSD. I was locked up in isolation for 14 days with supposed covid, having lost my voice so unable to talk, and no way that anyone could visit me to act as a support to my supposed "informed consent". With this disease, our oxygenation goes too low for clear thinking, so we are left having to give consent, with inadequate or no information - so not "informed" and with no alternative treatments suggested, even if we could grasp the implications of the treatments offered. My oxygenation was at 80% for the first 11 days of my hospitalisation, when I had a range of treatments imposed upon me "to save my life" with no request for consent and no opportunity for friends or family to intervene and do the thinking for me. After a while I started refusing offered treatments just to be bloody minded. At no time did anyone ever discuss with me the long term effects of anything they were giving me or doing to me, and at no time did anyone offer any alternatives. I eventually texted someone from outside to send me in some nutraceuticals (which they left at reception for me) which I started taking secretly, without their consent, and which clicked in almost immediately, with my symptoms improving rapidly after day 11 of the forced isolation of 14 days. Within 3 days of taking my own medicines, and with the 14 days of covid imprisonment served, I signed myself out against their advice as I knew I was going to die in there.

On the cruel nurses, I experience two monsters amongst mostly nice but mostly "absent" nurses. One - called Vicky - actually left me to die. I was paralysed from the pain killers I had taken (endone), but was mentally awake, and had slid down the bed so the tubes I was attached to were around my neck and strangling me. This monstrous women was trying to do the normal observations, but I could not get my body to wake up to tell her what was wrong. I eventually managed to start thrashing my feet around. She was already angry with me because I had not woken up for her, and she was already shouting at me. When I started thrashing my feet around, she shouted, "what the hell is wrong with you?", and walked away and left me, still strangling on the tubes. Fortunately I got one of my arms back alive and was able to stick my fingers under the tubes to stop the strangulation and slowly the rest of my body woke up and I was able to get free of the tubes. This monstrous creature left me to die. I became afraid of the nights when she was on duty in case something else happened, so when I knew she was on duty, I kept myself awake all night and refused to take the pain killers in case the same thing happened again with her on duty.

In addition the food was indescribable. It was almost all manufactured pap, full of neurotoxins that I had severe reaction to when I ate. My total food intake each day was two Wheatbix, one hard boiled and peeled grey egg sliding around alone in a bowl, two slices of white bread with margarine, and one small bottle of milk for the Wheatbix. I begged a second bottle of milk. to see me through the day. I could not eat anything else without severe reactions to the neurotoxins in the food. The first evening meal after I arrived was a pile of white slop, next to a pile of orange slop and a pile of yellow slop. Many of these meals I did not try to eat. When I did see something that vaguely resembled food, I would try to eat it, only to taste the "salt" and know I would have a severe reaction. Even apparently fresh salad was soaked in something salty. In the two weeks I lost two clothes sizes and was painfully hungry.

In addition, although confined to bed, there was no physio to keep me active. They wanted to jab me with anti-coagulants, which I refused, but gave me no physio to keep my legs and arms, and so my blood, moving. I was too brain dead to realise this was a problem until the night I was thrashing around being strangled. After that I realised I could thrash my legs around to get some movement and exercise. I invented my own bed exercise of scissoring my legs alternated with stamping my feet, although I was too weak to do much of it. Often I was left for 7 or more hours between supposed meals and any sight of a nurse. I had to use bed pans and often I was left with a full bed pan that no-one came to take away - for hours. I asked for two bed pans so I had a backup which initially they refused (even though I had lost control of my bladder and bowels and was evacuating everything I consumed within minutes of consuming it.) I finally pressured enough nurses for a second bed pan, for one to eventually turn up so I no longer had to sit in my own shit to do a shit!

And let's not even mention the post hospital medical "care". Every doctor I have seen since then could be accused of malpractice, if I had the energy to do it. Since then I have accumulated my own emergency kit of things I can test myself with, and things I can take to avoid hospitalisation. It is easy to say, don't go to hospital but hard to resist the panic when you entire body has collapsed and you can't care for yourself. I did collapse once again and get taken to hospital despite my intention never to go again. This time I tested negative to covid and was left sitting in casualty for hours. Luckily the ambo had given me a jab to stop the virtually continuous vomiting and it worked. So after two hours of sitting in a wheelchair in agony, and being told I might have to wait another three or four hours to see someone, I got the nurses to call a cab for me, and went home. At least I had pain killers there to take and could lie down rather than sit, so I decided it was a better option. Later, I got a doctor to prescribe the drug the ambo had given me, that is apparently used for victims of chemo who cannot stop vomiting. It is sitting there ready for the next attack, along with a huge supply of pain killers and natural anti-biotics. Hopefully the next time it happens, if it happens again, I will have the courage to stay home and sit it out, prepared to die if that is what happens.

I am getting all worked up just writing this all down. Although I have recounted bits and pieces of this, It is the first time I have put the abuse side of thing all together like this.

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robin percy's avatar

Yes Meryl.

This is gold pure gold. Thank you for this.

Hippocrates Health Centre is wonderful and Elaine Hollingsworth's book "Take Control of Your Health and Escape the Sickness Industry is really helpful but what you have written today is pure gold. Thank you and Go Hippocrates!

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